Wednesday, August 26, 2009

'how jillian michaels got me in trouble' or 'my hair is blonde'

*you know when you go back and read through a post before you publish it...and you're like wow, this is pretty dumb I should just delete it. But then you're really tired so you decide to publish it anyway. This is one of
So at the recommendation of Kristin and numerous others around the bloggityblog world, I purchased the Jillian Michael's Shred DVD last week. I did Level 1 about three times and really liked it - hard enough that I was beat up, but not hard enough that I wanted to quit. And I love how quick it is.
ANYWAY cue to Sunday evening, I'm packing for a three day work trip. And I'm thinking 'ok, I've been on a roll with this Shred and it would be a shame to take a break.'
The thing is, there's an important component to the Shred that I couldn't be without - the weights.
So I packed my two 5lb weights. In my suitcase.
Cue to 5:30am Monday morning, airport security. I throw my suitcase on the belt (with an extra 10lbs I'll admit the thing was a little heavy - it was a good heave) and keep moving.
"Who's suitcase is this?"
Well that's mine.
"We need to search it." Proceeds to open my suitcase and dig around...and pull out my weights. Mind you my coworkers and like 10 strangers are all standing there and I suddenly realize how strange - and stupid- it is to travel with two 5lb dumbbells.

So whatever - they have to scan the things and then repack my suitcase and I'm on my merry - albeit embarrassed - way.
And cue to this afternoon. Return flight, security.
"Who's suitcase is this?"
Well that's mine.
"We need to search it." And again, proceeds to dig around (haha sucka those are dirty clothes this time around!) and pull out my weights. At this point I'm like 'that's right strangers! fitness is that damn important to me!' which you'll realize soon is kind of a lie. Anyway, the guy leaves with my weights...comes back and gives me my suitcase.

I am then informed that I have two options - I could mail these weights to myself or throw them away. I say "seriously? they're weights..." and the guy explains that I could use these weights as a 'bludgeoning tool.' Cue dirty looks from all of the security staff. Cue me walking away and muttering a nickname for security agent that would not be allowed in PG-13 movies.
Soooo Jillian, my motivational friend, I am weightless. Haha not like in space. I am without weights. And do you know what the real kicker is? Guess how many times I did the DVD in three days? NONE Jillian, NONE. Because I was running on 5 hours of sleep every night and there wasn't enough time and I'm going to keep making excuses. But it just didn't happen. And now I'm home and I'm without weights and some dufus is probably pumping iron behind the security counter. Because 5lb weights are definitely pumping serious iron.
I attempted to be a good Shredder. And totally f-ed it up in a way only my blonde self can.


Dustjacket Attic said...

I'm really really happy you didn't delete this, funniest thing I read all day. I've heard about this shred thing will have to check it out.

btw the pic had me intrigued on my sidebar for starters :)

The Curious Cat said...

Man that would royally piss me is hard enough to psyche yourself up to do exercise at the best of times and this is what you get for being zealous?! Why does life work out this way? Is someone up there deliberately try to prevent you from getting trim?!

It is good to have a rant about it though - let up all that unreleased pent up energy that er...could have gone into the workout...! Sorry! xxx

The Curious Cat said...

PS It has encouraged me to try an exercise dvd though...

Sara said...

HAAHAHAHAHA!! omg that was funny!!

Is it any good? Everyone says it is, I am tempted to buy it!

Aubrey said...

They didn't give you the option of just checking the bag?

Amy Jo said...

Oh, how funny! Thanks, I needed something to make me laught today.

Jessie said...

Ok, first of all - WHO still uses the term bludgeoning tool?!?! (Besides security d-bags!)

Second - As a fellow shredder, I need to get back on track and this just might have motivated me, so thank you. :)

The Haute-Shopper said...

Ahhh, I've just started the 30 day shred myself (after reading about it on various of my favorite blogs as well). I travel a lot so I was wondering whether or not I could take my weights. I guess you answered my question ;-) Seriously, airport security is so lame anyway. I've gotten away with sharp objects and liquids, but they think someone would go through the trouble of overpowering people with dumbbells? Ugh. Anyhow, hope you get new weights too so you can continue shredding!

Awesome Sara said...

lol!!! im glad u didnt delete this i loved it!! OMG I mISS THIS BLOG!!!!! ive missed u!!

Felicia said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm convinced that all posts you think are stupid turn out to be the best ones!

Clorivak said...

Shiiittee..that is soo lame-ass. honestly,5 lb weights,ya they are so very harmful. douches. those laws are so dumbass. great rant. not worth mailing them to yourself..haha!

Gabby said...

I blame Jillian.

You're hilarious and I'm sorry you lost your weights. :)

one little simitopian said...

Jeeez! "Bludgeoning tool"?! *snorts* It's a wonder they didn't confiscate your underwear on suspicion of being possible "strangulation devices" or something. Ah,jumped up security guards with no brains.Dotcha just love 'em?
So that's what you get for trying to take fitness seriously! That was a damn funny story. Annoying for you, but funny for us! I'm just picturing the looks on everybodys faces, LOL.:D You poor thing! Back to the drawing (or "shredding") board!

drollgirl said...

BAHAHHAH!!!! this post is hilarious!!! i am sorry you lost the weights (ha! pardon that expression), but so glad for the good story!

i have done the shred off and on at home. i have no excuses other than being tired and lazy. maybe i'll do it tomorrow. or saturday. sigh.

Kristin said...

Dude, I think a security guard is lifting your weights while applying my Chanel lipgloss that was ganked at the checkpoint!

GiGi said...

you are very suspicious looking, so i can't blame airport security one bit. i don't know if you noticed, but when i met you for the first time, I held on to my purse a little tighter.

Red Boots said...

Do you know - I don't know anyone else that would take 10lb dumb-bells on a trip with them... I guess that's why I love your blog so much!

Elizabeth Marie said...

It's not your fault. It's Jillian's, I told you she was a HOOKER.

Yay you're a total SHREDHEAD!