Yesterday I went downtown to visit my favorite vintage spot for a little Saturday morning shopping. As I was leaving, I remembered I needed to run an errand. But I just had this weird urge not to run the errand. It was going to a place I enjoy to do something nice that would make someone happy, but I just didn't want to go.
But sometimes you just know you need to do things so you go do them.
And so you jump on the interstate and you're cruising along at 60mph when suddenly you happen to glance to your right just as a giant silver truck changes lanes directly into you. There is a screaming crunch and you attempt to straighten the car (which has been bumped into the next lane thankfully not hitting anyone) and get it off to the side of the road but you kind of don't remember how you got there because it happened so quickly.
I was fine. And lucky. My car was not so lucky but it's just a car.
The silver truck pulls over and these three guys get out and they're like 23 and their license plate is from out of state and I'm thinking bleah these stupid young guys and they don't even know where they're going and I'm just kind of spewing this like boooooo negativeness. And I assume they're going to try and somehow say this was my fault and I'm totally thinking the worst because every human is terrible and that's just the way life is.
We call the police and the firemen show up and like block lanes of traffic which is completely unnecessary and actually a little embarrassing because then traffic is clogged and slowing down and I've picked today to wear leggings, a hanes tshirt, a vintage kimono-robe thing and no makeup.
Anyway somewhere in here I talk to these guys and the driver says 'I'm really sorry, I just didn't see you' and I'm thinking 'ok, he totally just admitted it was his fault and shit- there were no witnesses to hear this in case he changes his story.' Just assuming that all people suck and would do this. He also says that they're just in town for a guys weekend. They told me they had gone to one of the big haunted houses the night before which seemed innocent and young. The police come and take their whole report and we call the tow trucks and the whole shebang that you do and there's kind of a lot of standing around and waiting.
Then the policeman comes over and gives me my report, says the other driver totally admitted fault and there are no issues. He also mentions that he's not going to issue a ticket to the other driver.
Because the driver and his friends are leaving for Iraq next week.
They are in town for a fun guys weekend. Before they get on a plane to go to a dangerous place and risk their lives to serve a country full of assholes like me that assume the worst in people.
And then I stood there, thinking of my 23 year old brother who is abroad, also serving our country and what he would think of this. How he'd be ashamed of me. And then just that I miss him. And what if this boy has an older sister and she probably misses her brother. What if my brother hit her on the interstate and she had thought these things about him? It was just this rush of why don't you love more? trust more?
I walked back to the driver and gave him a hug. Which probably surprised him and maybe he thought I was creepy. But I told him and his friends to please be safe. And thank you.
And I should have said I'm sorry.
This happened more than 24 hours ago and I haven't been able to cry about it until now.
I have the driver's address from our exchange of information and I want to write him a letter. Which is probably strange and maybe I'm not supposed to. I don't know, it's weird that sometimes it takes someone smashing into you at 60mph to jostle you a little bit and think more. I feel like I'm supposed to do something now.